By Wonderwall.com Editors
3:10am PDT, Mar 17, 2009
"should you end if if the one person fails to love..hold/comfort/apologize and cherish you the night before jail? LIARS R COWARDS cuz they DONT know what they've got til it is far gone." — Lindsay Lohan, having a meltdown on eve of possible arrest
"My six word story: 'This heart didn't come with instructions'." — John Mayer, concisely summing up months of tabloid magazine covers in only six words
"My morning so far – talked to Martha Stewart (she makes her own phone out of pine cones and twine) and the reception was so clear!" — Twitter newcomer Ellen DeGeneres, making nice with a fellow daytime TV star
"JUST COMPLETED MY ASPARAGUS COLUMN FOR MSL ABOUT TO REALLY WRITE FOUR INTROS FOR NEW BOOKS BY FRIENDS- MARC JOHN, BE PATIENT" — Martha Stewart, on her own Twitter, showing us how she thinks caps lock is a good thing
"Just had a heated debate with Keith Richard about the social graces of using Internet devices in intamate public settings… Keith won" — Ashton Kutcher, who was one mobile Tweet away from being beaten with his cell phone by an irate Rolling Stone
"Went bowling with my dancers last night. We had the best time. PS- I got a strike!" — Britney Spears assured us that she rolled at least a 10 during a recent bowling outing
"tonights show was amazing because i played it for me. i loved the songs and the feeling. nothing beats that. not money, not radio, not sex." — Pete Wentz, who is his own biggest fan
"trolling thru craigslist looking for outdoor furniture cuz I can't wait for summer. love seeing insides of people's houses" — Elizabeth Banks, who might just buy your old lawn chairs off Craigslist
"DAILY QUOTE: I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best. –John Keats" — American poet Ludacris, who we always took for more of a Lord Alfred Tennyson man
"Logging on to Twitter for the first time. Did I just take the red pill?" — "Today Show" host Ann Curry is either falling into the Twitter Matrix or taking her vitamins
"In my own bed. Finally. Sweet dreams world." — Katy Perry slept in her own bed and she liked it
"bout to meet with dggy style fam" — Snoop Dogg, who apparently has a doggy style family and a regular family
"A is for Anger, B is for Brute, C is for Cunning, D is for Death." — Yoko Ono, doing a little protest spelling
"@RyanSeacrest I chew gum or have a diet soda when I'm hungry and it's not quite time to eat yet. Diet tips from Perez! ha" — Perez Hilton, the Sally Struthers of Internet gossip mongers
"If I never came would you miss me??????? Would you miss me??? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" — P. Twitty, showing off his profound love of punctuation
"can someone check to see if i can make my blackberry data only online. if so ill call the office get log in Info" — "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane, experiencing technical difficulties and recruiting his Twitter followers for IT assistance
