Celebritweets of the Week

The swine flu still has celebs all a-Twitter this week. Click through the gallery to see what the stars have been saying in 140 characters or less, and be sure to follow Wonderwall on Twitter for all the latest updates.

"I'm so lucky to have the best dad in the world." — Jessica Simpson, who apparently hopes weve forgotten the whole Joe-Simpson-is-creepily-proud-of-his-daughters-ample-bosom thing

"Got a flight to figure out who I want to be today. Maybe the world will decide for me." — Pete Wentz, who apparently is doing some personality shopping in the Sky Mall magazine

"my hair is having some seriouuusss issues! idk what to do! grr! i think im gonna go back dark". — Miley Cyrus, whose charity work extends to keeping the entire hairstyling industry afloat in these tough economic times

"Just got a 150lb clam shell at an antique store. It's sooo cool!!" — Recent "Family Guy" guest star Lauren Conrad, who, in spite of the recession, is now the proud owner of giant clam

"Took my Malaria pillz, arms are peppered w/bruises.. I'm not getting any funk in AF" — Eliza Dushku, who, despite appearance and sentence syntax, is neither a rap star nor a junkie, but is soon embarking on an African journey

"recording swine flu" — Grammy-nominated artist M.I.A., showing us that when life gives her a terrifying pig epidemic, she makes music out of it

"twizzles at ma show hit me up on twizzle" — Snoop Dogg, who has us confused about whether he's referring to Internet friends or his favorite movie snack

"i just read that im bisexual. so 1991. good thing people write articles about me so i can get my facts str8. i mean straight. read on people" — Pink, who has already learned to harness the power of Twitter to tell us about her non-bisexuality

"avoiding work lately-not wanting to deal with details and decisions.bn like a child just wanting to write. driving my manager (and me) nuts" — Jewel, possibly explaining why her musical supply just about meets its demand.

"Who is this?" — Guns N Roses guitarist Slash, apparently having an existential crisis right on his Twitter

"can't sleep….being bitten by mosquitos. i must have not tucked my net in properly. atleast it's past 4am so it's not the "bad" kind." — Mandy Moore, live-Tweeting pests she encountered on her African safari (she was apparently not one of the recipients of the mosquito nets Ashton Kutcher handed out upon reaching one million Twitter followers)

"IM PRETENDING like I needed to use the restroom..shhhh…we will reconvine at 3:00 pacific..OK? I can't wait…shit Kelly just caught me.." — Twitter newcomer Kirstie Alley, whose newfound love of Tweeting could very well replace her love of eating

"My wallet has disappeared. If anyone sees a velcro one that says "Are You Ready?" on it with $11 inside, let me know!" — Criss Angel, who can supposedly make an elephant disappear and reappear, but cant seem to mindfreak himself into finding his own wallet

"I'm 24 . Got some lovely pressies, thanky everyone. Sunny birthday in london."

— May birthday girl Lily Allen, sending her thank-you notes the new-fashioned way, via Twitter