By Wonderwall.com Editors
1:08am PST, Mar 2, 2009
Breaking up is hard to do, especially when you're famous. With Celebrity Personals, we give these newly single stars the help they need to get back into the dating game. Good luck, lovers.
Sexiest SWF in the World (Thx FHM!) seeks B-list or better actor for mutually beneficial relationship in spotlight. Enjoys Angelina references, tats, Transformers action figures and tranny jokes. "90210" alums need not apply. "Melrose Place" OK.
Popular cheerleader type seeks vegetarian hero who likes animated musicals, charitable causes and former tween stars. Must love whale-watching, making PSAs, Hollywood PDAs and dressing me up as Cinderella. Save marine mammals, save the world!
Newly divorced hot doc seeks Hollywood type for another "late in life" big romantic break, on and/or off-screen. Must like needy women, spin-offs and playing doctor (natch). Crimson cougar-hunters welcome to check-up on my anatomy. LOL.
Magic Man Looking To Get Mindfreaky with Brainless Nude Model-Type In Vegas. Enjoys tricks, cotton tails, and flexible morals. Willing to go where many have gone before. Can make clothing disappear with the wave of a wand (or a $100 bill).
Lost and lonely bunny is leaving Las Vegas. Seeks play mate, father figure and/or magic man for room and board. Suntan lotion, Hooters and plastic surgery-friendliness are a must. If you like career women who like to get naked, I'm your blank slate.
Big sisterly socialite seeks blind-ish date. Enjoys fake fur, annoying voices, meddling family members and the legend of Big Foot. Please don't Google my sibling's sex tape in my presence. Rent-a-chimps welcome. Text-dumpers need not apply.
Don Juan de Orange County seeks hot, albeit boring fling. Reality starlets preferred. Must enjoy spikey hair, tangerine tans and on-camera break-ups. Must "get" my homophobic sense of humor. Proud of my prison record; you should be too.
