Celebrity Personal Ads

Dating is hard, especially when you're famous. With Celebrity Personals, we give these single stars the help they need to get back into the game. Good luck, lovers.

"40 is the New 30" Poster Gal seeks leading man who IS that into her. Must like yoga, the Zone diet, and walking dogs on beaches while trailed by paps. Dislikes Brangelina questions. Be stable in own stardom and available for all red carpet events.

Disgruntled Actor Turned Rapper of Dubious Intent seeks wealthy gal as partner-in-hoaxery. Likes troubled characters, reminiscing about "Space Camp" and Johnny Cash. Proficiency in mumblespeak, pharmaceutical savvy and nomadic lifestyles are pluses.

Told You I Was Trouble: Stubborn Not-Yet-Divorcee, 25, self-destructive with interests in soul, jazz, drugs and alcohol. Fancy a chap who looks like me Blake. Must love St. Lucia and beehives. When I say, "no, no, no," I mean, "yes, yes, yes!"

Misunderstood, Mostly Vapid Brit Vampster, maybe eternal, available to fulfill darkest schoolgirl fantasies. Enjoys being projected upon, mussy hair and staying out of the sun. Seeks young virgins to talk me down from panic attacks. Are you the one?

Since U Been Gone: American Girl Power Idol seeks match (not "With Love, Justin") who digs "aww shucks" persona and Texan home-cooking. Independent, cheery and as ferocious as I wannabe. What's behind these hazel eyes? Your life sucking without me!

Tiger Beat's Most Crushworthy Bachelor, 18, seeks non-spastic "Arch Angel" for hand-holding, serenading and soft crying jags. Loves Robbie Williams; hates watching self on screen. Will take pants off for charity – but that's all.

Little Bit Country, Little Bit Rock N Roll Cutie, 19, seeks Prince Charming. Likes Tim McGraw (obvs) and Wal-Mart. Must tolerate Miley Cyrus, detest Joe Jonas and never picture me naked. Just don't do it guys. I'm serious, y'all!

Gossip Boy, of age, seeks semi-older starlet for meaningless romps and hangin' with my cast. (Lindsay Lohan not included; Kate Hudson: Yes, ma'am!) Cosmo Fearless Male today, People's Sexiest Man tomorrow. Let's share hair products – and feelings.

Newbie L.A. Club Kitten, 22, likes micro mini-skirts, mini-dresses and high heels with matchstick legs and vodka. Enjoys revisionist Shakespeare and fairy tale humor, ditched values and comparing self to Paris. I think I'm better, you should too.

Heartbroken Teen Baby Mama from Wasilla seeks non-trashy, Alaskan-born 'n bred stepdaddy for new son, new wardrobe, tonsil hockey and political maneuvering. Must love and/or obey pitbulls in lipstick. Lapsed Evangelicals OK. Anti-abstinence? Me too!