By Wonderwall.com Editors
2:46am PDT, May 19, 2009
By Courtney Reimer and Alex Blagg
Los Angeles was hit by a small earthquake this past weekend, and where did celebs turn for help? To Twitter. Click through to check out the week's best Tweets and be sure to follow Wonderwall if you're not already.
"Who else felt the shaking last night in LA?" — Paula Abdul, clearly confused as to whether there was an earthquake or she took the wrong meds again
"There has been an earthquake which I may have caused with some of my erotic dancing. Apologies. It quaked like crazy but, God it was good.x" — British comedian Russell Brand, revealing the true cause of Sunday's earthquake in California
"@spencerpratt are u in town next week? Reggie & I will both be in LA!" — Kim Kardashian, who makes social and plastic-surgery plans in equally public forums
"Hello to the Twitter Nation…I said I wouldn't do this. I'm on the set. Ashton and Demi did it!! If you can't beat em join em! Here goes!!!" — R&B singer Usher, who was no match for the on-set peer pressure from Pranky McTweet and his Pet Cougar
"goodmorning!!!! i had a dream about @ddlovato last night! i am having withdrawls" — Miley Cyrus, whose incessant Tweets about Demi Lovato are making us start to wonder whether they're the new Lindsay and SamRo
"Trying to procure as many red lipstick kisses on my face as I can. Trying to gag photogs and make a jokOH MY GOD MONTEL JORDAN JUST CAME ON" — John Mayer, who somehow managed to get himself covered in kisses as part of a "joke" on L.A. paparazzi
"I'm giving the commencement speech at Tulane tomorrow! If I get nervous, I'm gonna picture everyone naked…and drunk.So just come that way." — Ellen DeGeneres, Best Commencement Speaker Ever
"1/2way thru w. elizabeth edwards' book: completely captivated by her story and strength .best line: 'what we know is apparently no match for'" — Bipartisan bookworm Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who won't spoil the ending of a perfectly good quote just to make some sort of sense
"how do you train a dog to walk on his back two legs and saunter up the aisle with the rings? ive got 4 hours…." — Pink, telling what sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but is really just a bad idea for a friend's wedding procession
"and i MUST gain weight ALOT of it fast im eating like a pig its really hard as i forced myself to be a noneater for a whilebut i gotta SING" — Body modification queen Courtney Love, making the most sense she has in weeks
"BUYER BEWARE: I have NOTHING to do with acai berry scams on internet. Have tasted only ONE time on my show." — Oprah Winfrey, assuring us that no matter what those hucksters at Whole Foods tell you, she does NOT endorse South American energy fruit
"Write down 20 things you need to get done today! You have 2hrs to complete the whole list!!! Get locked in and do it! BE GREAT!!!! Let's go!" — Unfortunately for Diddy, the No. 1 thing on our list was to stop reading Diddy's Twitter
"i will set ron jeremys face on fire." — Aubrey O'Day, who at least spared us the horror of how she plans to set a porn star's "face on fire"
"At the gym. Still feeling sick. I'm trying to sweat it out! Doing a media phoner during my cardio. Oye!" — Following her triumphant return to "Dancing With the Stars," Brooke Burke may be taking this multitasking thing a little too far
