By Wonderwall.com Editors
5:50am PDT, May 26, 2009
By Courtney Reimer
This week in the more famous sectors of the Twitterverse, stars were ruminating on "American Idol," their millions of followers, and quiet moments of personal realization. So take a seat and follow Wonderwall into the wonderful world of Celebritweets.
"I'm going to wait until tomorrow to comment on American Idol because every time I do, I get in trouble for spoiling it" — Celebrity "Idol" fan Nicole Richie, who thoughtfully didn't spoil the finale for the millions of people reading her Twitter instead of watching it on TV
"I've never been double-crossed by a sweet puppy or a lion in the jungle." — Dame Elizabeth Taylor, explaining why she has yet to divorce an animal
"Wow I hope this isn't true. I really don't like being sold out. May have to take a twitter hiatus. http://bit.ly/155I15" — Ashton Kutcher, threatening to quit Tweeting after hearing about a possible Twitter TV show (he clearly wouldn't want to see Twitter somehow exploited by someone for personal gain)
"Wow I just saw that I am at a million followers! No champagne popping but perhaps I will go crack open a clementine Izzy!" — Demi Moore, who, in relation to her husband, makes up in age what she lacks in Twitter followers
"Sometimes I get scared that I'm going to enter a web address into Twitter thinking it was my browser. That would be bad." — Musician John Mayer, who has come this close to Tweeting "ilovejohnmayer.com" so many times
"Brushing your teeth with the wrong hand forces synapses in your brain to work differently" — Pete Wentz, genius
"I mean, I failed remedial math. How am I supposed to add every time I look at the clock.?! Lol" — Mariah Carey, who should probably go back to college and take some classes in how to tell time
"Chillin at the playboy mansion checking out these monkeys and all types of crazy animals.. Check them out" — Brody Jenner, who we imagine spends most of his time broing out with his fellow primates at the Playboy mansion
"Clean up the water inside your body. Let's be the oasis for the world. Even if you don't announce it, it will be felt by the whole world." — All Yoko Ono is saying (we think) is give pee pee a chance
"north korea tests nuclear weapon today. well, that sucks." — Matchbox 20 front man Rob Thomas, delivering his trademark trenchant commentary on terrifying world events
"Lady Gaga is like sour milk. You know it's not good. But you still wanna smell it just to make sure." — Dane Cook, making a joke that could also be applied to his own comedy
"Rolling in bed, watching the aussie sun rise. What a beautiful audience in new castle. today I play with the wild things." — Lady GaGa, who apparently discovered where the wild things are (Australia)
"napped on a bench at the rodin museum. walking all over paris is totally exhausting, worth it. visit here. see 'the thinker'. just do it." — Actress Elizabeth Banks, having just unknowingly posed for a future masterpiece, "The Napper"
"Twitter looks all fancy now. Fancy pants. I will shave so as not to offend." — Dave Matthews, who apparently draws the line at being a dirty hippie as soon as computers are involved
"@jeweljk OMG! You're wearing chaps! People really do that? Ha! Why do cowboys/cowgals actually wear pants with holes in their crotches?" — Intrepid hard-hitting Twitter journalist Perez Hilton, asking Jewel the tough questions
"Wow you spell one word wrong on twitter and people love to show how intelligent they are by correcting you." — Kelly Osbourne, really making us wish there was a typo in that Tweet
"I'm at a party with Lorraine Bracco who just sat on me" — Joy Behar, apparently getting butt-whacked by Tony Soprano's (fictional) psychiatrist
"It's now official. We are a race replete with narcissists." — John Larroquette, Twitter newbie and seeker of outlets for self-expression now that his magnum opus, "Night Court," is no longer in syndication
