The Afternoon Shortlist for March 24

Lindsay Lohan tells E! News that reports about her tumultuous relationship with Sam Ronson are "garbage." She adds, "I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I don't lie." Now will someone please hire her? (E! Online)

43-year-old supermodel Cindy Crawford is wearing nothing but soapsuds in the latest issue of Allure. She's also promoting her anti-aging regimen, which seems to be totally working. (Fox News)

Madonna may want to adopt again, but a senior child welfare official from Malawi says the star's "relationships may negatively affect the adoption." Is this a reference to Jesus Luz? Because we think he makes an excellent nanny. (Huffington Post)

Jennifer Hudson is reportedly returning to "American Idol." Hopefully she'll avoid any run-ins with wannabe collaborator (and fellow "Idol" castoff) Tatiana Del Toro. (Huffington Post)

Miley Cyrus is aware that her Hannah Montana character has a shelf life. "I can't do this when I'm 30," she tells Billboard magazine. Well, you can. But then you're technically considered a Pussycat Doll. (US)