The Morning Shortlist for March 12

Sources say Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have once again called it quits. She took you to the Oscars, John. Are you really going to let her endure more "Jen is going to die alone" tabloid covers? (E! Online)

After Tina Fey called him a "sexy devil," 22-year-old "Twilight" star Robert Pattinson has responded that Tina is "like, the sexiest woman." You know when a running joke gets creepy? Yeah, we've reached that point. (The Improper)

Scarlett Johansson and Mickey Rourke have signed on to star alongside Robert Downey Jr. in the "Iron Man" sequel. We wonder which celeb comic book fanboys are more excited about seeing in leather. (E! Online)

Sources say Chris Brown is upset with his management team, as he wanted to apologize for his alleged attack against Rihanna earlier. That, and because his manager's sexy text message reportedly started the whole thing. (Page Six)

Paris Hilton is supposedly "desperate" to join the cast of "New Moon." We suspect the film is just not that into her. (Pink is the New Blog)