By Wonderwall.com Editors
11:04am PDT, May 27, 2009
By Saryn Chorney
We're pretty sure there's a law somewhere on the Internet that states all celebrity beach bodies galleries must begin with a photo of Kim Kardashian. Who are we to break bikini protocol?
Cameron Diaz wears an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, poolside, Kindle-friendly bikini.
Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves take their son, Levi, to his first "Gorgeous Parents and the Adorable Toddlers Who Will One Day Hate Them But Appreciate Their Genes Regardless" convention on the beach in Malibu, Calif.
Two seconds after this photo was snapped, the chick in the polka-dot bikini dunked Kendra Wilkinson, causing her to spill that entire strawberry daiquiri in the hot tub. Yucky.
Post-Tantra session, Julia Roberts and husband Danny Moder attempt to synchronize their inhaling and exhaling patterns while strolling on the beach in Hawaii.
According to the Homeland Security Advisory System, Paris Hilton flashing her bikini bottoms only registers as a slightly elevated Code Yellow.
Robert Pattinson dared not reveal his bare chest on the beach in Cannes, lest a band of down-on-their-luck producers see his glittering-like-diamonds vampire skin and try to sell him to the highest bidder. Oh, wait…
Jay-Z was totally p.o.'d when he found out Beyonce snagged the only clean, button-down shirt he packed for this Monaco trip and then wore it as a beach cover-up.
Hayden Panettiere enjoys a tanning application from her new friend Kate Gosselin aboard the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" private yacht in the south of France. Or maybe it's just a publicity stunt, but they sure seem friendly.
Eat your heart out, Halle Berry: Jerry O'Connell auditions to be the next Bond girl.
Look, we have no problem with Miley's bikini body. It's just the separate pink and black pieces are setting off our OCD fashion-matching issues and sending us into a fit of convulsions! Need. Meds. Now.
LeAnn Rimes came out of the sea,
she ate all the others,
but she didn't eat me.
LeAnn Rimes came out of the sea,
She ate all the others,
But she didn't eat…
SLURP!
Why so modest, McSteamy? TV doc Eric Dane deeply disappoints us by keeping his T-shirt on while jetskiing in Miami Beach.
It's as if Mel B has just returned from a galaxy far, far away and was beamed down smack in the middle of the Mandalay Bay pool scene in Las Vegas.
Russell Brand doesn't have to take his clothes off to have a good time at the beach, oh no. The "good time" always comes to Russell Brand. Of this, we are quite certain.
Sorry buddy, but you oughta know not to play beach games with Alanis Morrisette's head. She'll dislocate your shoulder and write a song about it, too.
No joke: Sanaa Lathan spent Memorial Day at the beach with a group of topless and thong-sporting friends, and this is the only photo decent enough for us to show you.
David Duchovny and his pal are not partaking in "Californication"; they are merely old friends who toss around the old pigskin on Venice Beach occasionally. Why, what did you hear?
Even a Catholic priest like Father Alberto Cutie deserves some downtime in the sun and sand with his forbidden love, divorcee Ruhama Buni Canellis on "Fantasy Island," right? Only Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize know for sure, folks.
