Celebrity Quotes for the Week of April 17th

"Hi, my name is Lindsay and I'm searching for love. I'm recently single — I think — and I'm looking for someone who I can spend the rest of my life with, or at least the rest of my probation with." — Lindsay Lohan, in a mock eHarmony commercial (Funny Or Die)

"I was pregnant for like 2 1/2 years. So, I don't think people remember me before then. I'm the same size as I was then." — Tori Spelling, responding to tabloids claiming she is anorexic (Extra)

"Who is Miley Cyrus? The one with all the gums? She's got to get a gum transplant!" — Jamie Foxx, about "Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus on his Sirius Satellite Radio show, "The Foxxhole" (Us)

"It's nice to have the Maxims of the world out there, because you can look at them when you're 80 and be like, 'See? No, really, I was cute, I promise!'" — Jennifer Love Hewitt, in the May issue of Maxim (Us)

"Definitely running. Don't know if I'll be getting elected any time in the next century or so, but definitely going after mayor of L.A., and at least governor. I'll probably stop at governor." — Spencer Pratt, talking to PopSugar about his political ambitions

"Heidi and I are having another baby! I mean, Heidi is doing all the work." — Seal, announcing wife Heidi Klum's pregnancy to an audience at his New York City concert

"Back in the day, I had a 'frenemy' who, as it turned out, was pretty hellbent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me … But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and … happiness." — Gwyneth Paltrow, on the cathartic effect of gossip (Goop)

"I see it more with black women, who get dressed up and they're wearin' everything to fit snug, and they're walking the walk. And you're like, 'Man, look at you go! Where did you get that?' She might be a larger package, but boy, she sure understands how she's wrapped." — Matthew McConaughey, on shapely women in the new issue of Elle

"I may run for president of Texas. That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state." — Chuck Norris, on the future of Texas in a World Net Daily post

"I never feel more comfortable than when I am naked taking pictures. I don't know what that's about. It's the craziest thing." — Lisa Rinna, talking to Extra about posing for Playboy

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like O.J., cutting everybody's throat." — Hulk Hogan, talking to Rolling Stone about his wife Linda leaving him for a younger man