The Shortlist: Lay Off My Sis

Recent criticism of sister Jessica's weight has "disgusted" Ashlee Simpson. Worse than that, it's killing her post-inauguration high.

Despite splitting up last July, Drew Barrymore and Justin Long still seem to enjoy each other's company. Just get back together already, kids. You're like the Jim and Pam of movie stars.

Guy Ritchie's father is not so fond of Madonna. He recently told "In Touch" Magazine: "The worst thing would be if they reconciled." Ouch. So much for a reserved British divorce.

Taylor Swift is a true fan of Britney Spears. The country music star recently blogged about her "unwavering" devotion to Britney, and her panic when she thought she'd lost her beloved Britney poster. Trust us, Taylor. We've all been there.

Stop the presses! Paris Hilton actually declined TV exposure! The socialite and reality show veteran says she "didn't like the idea" of starring in her own dating show. Phew. America is safe. At least until she decides to find a new best friend.