Surprise, Bruce Willis!
Demi Moore made an unexpected appearance at the July 14 taping of the "Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis" at the Hollywood Palladium and didn't hold back, gleefully hurling jokes at her ex-husband's expense.
"I was married to Bruce for the first three 'Die Hard' movies, which makes sense because the last two sucked," Entertainment Weekly reports Demi told the audience, which included their three daughters — Rumer, 29, Scout, 26, and Tallulah, 24 — who were all laughing hard during their mom's performance.
Demi, 55, also delivered a few quips about their failed marriage, Variety reported. "People wonder why our marriage came to an end, and in all honesty I think it was because some jealousy started to creep in. I think Bruce never really got over the fact that I rocked the bald look better than he did," the "G.I. Jane" actress said.
"Bruce considered the end of our marriage his biggest failure," she added. "Bruce, don't be so hard on yourself — you had much bigger failures. Planet Hollywood, 'Hudson Hawk' … campaigning for Michael Dukakis, turning down [George] Clooney's role in 'Ocean's Eleven' to focus on playing the harmonica…"
According to TMZ, one of her best lines of the night was, "I look at our marriage like 'The Sixth Sense' … You were dead the whole time."
Demi also had some nice things to say about Bruce, 63. She insisted that her 10-year marriage to the movie star — their divorce was finalized in 2000 — was full of "some of the best times of my life." The thrice-married actress also praised him as "easily one of my top three husbands," Variety reported.
Other roasters during the night included "Moonlighting" co-star Cybill Shepherd, "Moonrise Kingdom" and "Motherless Brooklyn" co-star Edward Norton, "Hostage" and "The Whole Nine Years" co-star Kevin Pollak, comedians Jeff Ross, Nikki Glaser, Dom Irrera and Lil Rel Howery plus Dennis Rodman and Martha Stewart.
Bruce personally asked Joseph Gordon-Levitt, his co-star in "Looper," to serve as the evening's roastmaster, the younger actor told Variety. And JGL got in some jokes of his own, including, "Bruce can play anyone from an a–hole cop to an a–hole ex-cop" and "Bruce Willis is what you get if you drain the white part of Dwayne Johnson," EW reported.
Bruce later admitted to reporters that he was shocked to see Demi take the stage but loved her jokes, calling her performance "terrific… very surprising and very cool," Variety reported.
He also made a joke at his ex-wife's expense during his show-ending monologue, EW revealed: "Joseph played a younger me in 'Looper.' He couldn't pull it off. There is one actor who successfully played me. It was Demi Moore."
During his own bit, Bruce told the crowd, "If you're a fan of Bruce Willis movies and I know you are, then you know how this works. I get the s— beat out of me for about an hour and a half, and then at the end I come back and whip everybody's a–." He also played the harmonica after roasting his roasters.
Variety reports that Bruce hd a great time. "[I] thought I dislocated my jaw because I was laughing so hard," he said.
The roast airs on Comedy Central on July 29.